so, in this post on my first trimester, i mentioned ryan deserved his own post (and gold medal) for what he did during the first trimester. everything in our lives turned upside down -- the foods i could eat, the energy i had, both our work schedules, everything on our to do list, where i could literally be in our house (my nose is a tracking device these days), what we could get done in a day or weekend.
i suddenly couldn't ever be in the kitchen or go to the grocery store or really even think about food. i didn't touch a load of laundry for two months. we never knew if i'd be well enough to get in the car & go somewhere. all while my job was more intense than ever, ryan was transitioning to a new squadron, we were trying to re-do our backyard (oy), and life in general charged on.
ryan would get two eggos ready for me every morning (even if he was leaving for base at 4 a.m., he'd put them by the bed). he kept the house well stocked with gatorade and goldfish. he made countless mcdonald's fries runs. he'd go to the pharmacy & grocery, sometimes several times a night. when I got nauseas in a store, he'd run to get me white rice & salt from panda express, and stand with me while i sat on an exercise bike (the only place i could find to sit down) and took 45 minutes to eat it all. when we went to a restaurant & i had a bad wave of nausea and had to run to the parking lot, he brought four things out & sat on the pavement with me as i tried to eat them. when none of them sounded good, he wasn't discouraged, he put his arm around me and told me he'd go to every restaurant on the block if that what it took to find me something i could eat. (we ended up with a waffle cone of vanilla from dairy queen!). he'd read to me at night so i could stay distracted & fall asleep at my new bedtime of 8:30 p.m.
even more than these acts of love, he kept me going. it sounds funny, but when i started to get sick, we had a routine (ice pack, chair, mouthwash!). he did everything he could to get me comfortable & keep my morale up. when i had nothing left to give & felt like giving up, he'd remind me how amazing this baby is going to be & how strong i could be. when i didn't think it was possible to smile, he'd say something so funny, i'd be belly laughing in no time, forgetting how miserable i was.
if you've been reading this blog for a while, you know this pregnancy isn't the first time i've been incredibly grateful to be going through life with ryan. you know how intentional we try to be about our marriage. that said, the rubber hit the road these past two months & ryan was more loving and present than i could have possible imagined.
as you might imagine, now on the other side, what i realize is not only was it all worth it because we have a healthy baby on the way, but because it strengthened our marriage in ways i didn't know were possible. we were in survival mode, we had each other to lean on, and we made it.
this won't begin to be the hardest thing we endure together (parenting is on the horizon!), and we hardly did it perfectly, but i am so grateful to ryan. i also wrote this post because there is so little dialogue on marriage today, and what it really takes, and i think on its' best days t&f can be a home for that conversation.