most of the time, these two are together, literally, right next to each other -- anna, despite weighing less at birth, weighed a pound and six ounces more than ellie did at four months! i'm convinced it's for self defense during their gazillion interactions a day! i never had a sister and so watching these two has been so incredible -- i'm in a camp that believes siblings are an incredible gift and watching this bond form has reminded me why we do the sleepless nights, the hard pregnancies, the work of childbirth. the other day ellie ran up to anna, gasped, and said, "anna!! you make my heart so happy! and hurt a little bit! and you're a natural!" i smiled at the kitchen sink and thought, yep, that's just about right. (in the positive camp of three year old antics, ellie loves to tell people they're a "natural" or a "genius!")
everything feels sort of frantic and scattered these days, yet photographs some how ground me, root me, remind me. i find myself looking at them on my phone right before i fall asleep, as if to try to piece together what the heck happened that day. then ryan always leans over to look too, and says how incredible the girls are -- and what i love is that his tone and inflection implies he needs to convince me of this and that it's the first time he's ever told me. it contains this awe of a dad who still can't really believe he is a dad (to two little girls who ADORE him -- you should see the looks anna gives him! not that i take it personally, i just carried you for ten months AND a week! ;)
every now and then we bust out the real camera too. i try to do it on the harder days of motherhood, seeing if it might change my perspective. i finally uploaded the past month or so and these three above really struck me -- here's why:
the top photo is pretty much how i pictured motherhood before i became a mom -- i thought it was smiles and hugging and cute kids and calmness -- and it is, about 3% of the time. the other 97% of the time has been wholly unexpected for me -- in good, and bad, and ugly, and beautiful, and meaningful and growing ways. so, i love this photo because it is my girls, hugging necks, and dressed up for Easter, and with their mama, but also because it makes me want to pat 25 year old me on the shoulder and say, "just you wait and see all that's in store for you!"
the second photo just seems to be life at this exact moment -- unmade beds, the girls getting to know each other, days that run into one another.
and the third photo is when ellie said, "anna! you wanta face time?!" i just love both their faces.
there have been some really, really great things i've been reading & wanted to share:
a really great gift guide for three year olds!
i love how this mama captures her children and thinks about motherhood, especially through this series.
cup of jo does it again -- a genius idea for teaching your child not to interrupt. i just realized i've been reading cup of jo for eight years -- she feels like an old, dear friend.
have a great end of the week!