two recent small moments in our marriage i thought i'd share:
1. we've been meaning to get front porch furniture for about a year and a half (this house has an AWESOME porch). this year, we finally found some we liked & got a porch swing (yipee!) and two rocking chairs (plus, these fabulous pillows!). there was much discussion about what to get -- ryan had always been a fan of adirondak chairs, & i pushed strongly for rocking chairs. thanks to my sweet husband & me being oh-so-much louder about my opinions, we got the rocking chairs.
so, one night ellie goes to bed & we joke the farthest we can "legally go" when that happens is the front porch, where the monitor still works. so, we take some beers out there & are enjoying the pretty spring night on our new furniture. all of the sudden ryan starts laughing -- i ask him what's so funny & he says, "now i know why you wanted rocking chairs!!" i'd been rocking steadily since we sat down (some might say agressively...) ryan, on the other hand, desperately wanted to just sit still & be calm (which would be much easier in an adirondak chair!)
this made me realize we thought the decision about chairs was about furniture -- when it actually was about our personalities. i felt so badly that it wasn't the aesthetic of the adirondak chair ryan liked, so much as the fact that it matched his calm demeanor. we're constantly learning about each other, & perhaps more importantly, how to love each other well.
2. the second story is about a night when a fly was in our bedroom and would not stop buzzing around! we have had cockroaches (in this house & mammouth size ones in pensacola) & spiders, but this fly was a new adventure. it was a quick little sucker!
so, about ten minutes in to the chase, we both have magazines rolled up, trying to get this darn thing & finally it goes in our teensy-tiny bathroom. we immediately chase in after it ... ryan shuts the door & climbs in the bathtub (literally the only other place to stand). we have so little room, we're practically swatting each other (let's just say we both have strong competitive/determined/stubborn genes) & this fly is just having a field day. after a near hit, we just dissolve into laughter. i think we both realized how ridiculous this must look.
i stood there thinking, this is what marriage is about -- being on the same adventure, and doing the best you can to be a team, no matter what the circumstances. in big tasks (raising a child) & small (chasing down a fly) it's so much easier when you try to be on the same team, compliment each other's strengths and never leave your sense of humor far behind.
i love doing life with him.
p.s. we got the fly!